about me

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Married to Nick for 13 years, with 2 children; Sabrina - 12 and Dominic - 11. I am a girlfriend through and through in that I love girly things and anything that celebrates the essence of being a woman. I love vintage, shabby chic, the country and try my best to do my bit for the environment. SO yes...we have 3 bins in our house and try our best to recycle! I believe that with everything in life, the closer we stick to nature, the better off we'll be. I would love to have a balance in life, but have learnt that balance is not always possible, so strive for significance instead, in the hopes that that will be just as meaningful, and the rest will hopefully follow.

Monday, March 9, 2009

What I know for sure on the 8th March - my 37th birthday!

This post was written a week ago, and is more of a personal account and reflection of where I am in my life right now .... I chose this photo, (taken on the eve of my birthday, before our BOKJOL party), because some of the reflection done in this post, dates back to my thoughts at a time in my life, where I wore this very dress (so NO it isn't one of those KITSCH HIRED DRESSES but rather my matric farewell dress!!!!...eish believe it or not!!!..yes I know it's still kitsch, but SUCH a classic you HAVE to admit!), and here I am with my friend Ronda, who was a part of my life back then, and is one of the angels in my life today! If you think the bit about the dress is bad and sad, I've held onto the dress for 20 years, AND MARRIED the guy who took me!!!...(and you should have seen what HE WORE!!!) .......and for the record, neither he nor I had ANY intention of EVER marrying each other - that's for sure!...so the lesson here is, you just never know!!...and that's one of the beauty's of life.

PS: The shoes were from BENONI!

There is no better time, than on the day of my 37th birthday (there I said it..uhuh...37!) to reflect on where I am in my life. Overall, I cannot believe at how blessed I have been. As I sit and try to reflect on things I feel I have missed out on, I struggle to find those feelings of unfulfillment. The good stuff in my life has been great, and the not so good stuff have been good lessons, without which I may not be where I am. I know that there are some things - things that are to me important in life, that I will never experience, but when you're revelling in the joy of what is, who has time to waste on "what could or should have been"?

I feel like my life thus far has been a combination of what I really wanted out of life, mixed with what someone knew was best for me, and what a blessing that is! It's quite incredible to look back on one's life and ponder on all that's happened in between, and reflect on the crossroads you've been faced with, and some of the roads not taken. For me personally, as I trace the roadmap of my life, I am amazed at how even some of the "bumpy rides" presented me with a gift of some sort, and how at times when I felt carried along on a route I hadn't intended to take, in retrospect, I believe I was being led by a hand that knew more than I did, about the beauty, the lessons and the rewards that lay ahead. Looking back now, I'm astonished to see how many good things happened at times when I was paying the least amount of attention - these were the times I know for sure, someone or something was guiding and looking out for me ....

When I think back to the days of "boaring" - I mean BOARDING school, (which ironically I hated the thought of, but were such defining years for me), I can distinctly recall at times being preoccupied with thoughts of where I would be at this stage in my life and here I am....and I can't believe it.

They say we all have guardian angels, and some believe angels dwell among us on earth - well I KNOW for me this is true. At the risk of offending the very religious, some of the people I have been blessed to know in my life, are angels to me, starting with my crazy, big, larger than life family. We all talk far too loudly, and say it like it is, when it needs to be said, but I love that, and I love that whilst we don't live in one another's pockets, you're never at a loss for someone to reach out to. I remember as a teenager, wondering where and how I would meet my future husband, and what his name would be (and wishing that maybe it would be PATRICK SWAYZE!!LOL!), but whilst I was concerned with the meaningless stuff, someone else took care of making sure that I would be blessed with a man who goes out of his way everyday, to make me happy, and who strives to be the best husband and father he can possibly be - where was my mind when we were supposed to be covering that?? How lucky was I to marry the wonderful man that I did. And while I had visions of one day having a little girl to do girly things with, and never gave boys a second thought, someone blessed me with one of each! A daughter so opposite to me, who I would be in awe of at times and learn from, and the unexpected gift of the 'joy of a boy', a son who has the strength of character every young man needs, and a wonderful sense of humour to go with it!

I always assumed my best friends from school, who I lived and shared everything with would always be and stay by my side. Instead I have been blessed with friends who are angels more qualified to take care of my every need now, in the many complicated roles my life is made up of, and readily dispense the advice I so often need, along with a shoulder to cry on. People who have made me realise that family can mean so so much more than a relative. And it is so true what they say about friends....my friends have definitely been "the someone who knows the song of your heart, and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words." The best way I can describe my friends and family is to say that my family will always be in my life, but my friends are in my life everyday.

One of the things for which I am most grateful, is to have achieved the first real goal I ever set for myself. Sharing a love for aviation with my Dad, I was very fortunate to be able to work for an airline for 6 years, and travel internationally for 4 of them. I think that maybe living the high life for those 4 years I worked as a cabin attendant, has contributed to me feeling so grounded in my life now. That time in my life gave me so many of the best days of my life, and although a long distance relation ship for 2 and a half years was difficult, doing something I loved so much and felt born to do, somehow made it easier, and someone made sure that Nick and I were able to really test our commitment and dedication to one another in difficult times that relationships will inevitably face. The gift we took away at the end of the 2 years of living apart, is the reminder of how NOT to take the mundaneness of everyday life together for granted - although we sometimes forget, I always have those early days to remind me . It was a time when we learnt to be independant of one another, but at the same time, dependant on each other for all the right reasons.

My husband once asked me if I ever missed the glamour and recognition that comes with working some of the "real jobs" I've had. I've never given it so much as a thought. In that respect I feel as though my eyes have always been wide open - the real meaning of life for me can almost always be found in the simple things in life, the people, the opportunities one gets to see and take in the beauty of life, having quality time to sit and ponder and grow, to give back, to make a difference, and to love.

At 37 what I know for sure is this:

- i have everything that matters

- i am and always will be "work in progress" ...(and I'm high maintenance??...giggle)

- i don't internalise, I analyse, VENT and move on (it's anti-aging, and avoids cancer)

- i'm impatient - very.

- i still have road rage (beginners)

- i find being a (sane) Mom to be one of the hardest jobs in the world

- i find being an (insane) Mom to be one of the best jobs in the world

- i have learnt that recognising things in myself is far more valuable than any recognition I receive from others (who don't know the real me)

- i have awesome in-laws, niece and nephew

- music is my anti depressant

- my husband and I are raising our children according to old fashioned values, combined with a touch of new age wisdom

- i loathe sad movies and books (even more so if a true story) - real life has enough sadness

- i struggle with people who taken life and themselves too seriously

- i am a country girl at heart, even though I appreciate the upside of urban living

- i live in a country where the bad is of the worst kind, contrasted by the good which is the "out of this world" kind of good
Back in school I would never have imagined that I would see the day that my children would be posing in a photo with Ronda's, but here they are...Taryn 12, Sabrina 10, Dominic 8, Aislinn 9.


  1. Very special post. Happy Birthday! What an amazing encapsulation of where you are right now. Wont it be awesome to read this in 20yrs?

    Its also my big 3-7 this year!

  2. Happy Birthday Beryldene - Hope it is/was a great one.

    Great recount of your feelings - always very positive.

  3. oh wow - that was awesome - what a wonderfull post - worth waiting for - you are one in a million and i am honoured to call you friend -miss you so so so so so so so much
    linda andrew

  4. Just the fact that you can still fit so beautifully into your matric dance dress is one huge achievement! ;-)

  5. Gf, as yours (and my) birthday drew close I found myself missing you even more (if that is possible)and reading these wonderful words reminded me why.....gf you are so my person and you inspire me every single day of my life - you have achieved so much in your 37 years and the fact that you take all that has happened to you along the way, both good and bad, and use it to grow and develop instead of wallow and stagnate is testiment to what an AMAZING woman you are!

    CONGRATULATIONS on 37 years well lived!

  6. Ya, well, no FINE....... Firstly I have to clarify in BENOOINI we wea SISSY BOY shoes.... and in fact we buy them just because we like the colour and have'nt actually WORN them hee hee, I love this blog entry..... you are such a special friend and I am so pleased we are still as close 23 years later and you have'nt changed a bit..... well, maybe got SKINNIER EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!! The weekend was FAB and thanks for the stunning hospitality......

    Loads of Love Ronda

  7. Hi Beryldene. Once again I have just enjoyed sitting back with my Nescafe cuppocino and read the beautiful an endearing way you have shared your life to date with us. Oh yes,and happy birthday on your 37th joyful year. It was great to learn so much more of you here and especially the fact that you have married your Matric farewell partner and that you have been a cabin crew member on international flights for so many years. Reading between the lines here one can clearly see that you are a people's person! Keep well and enjoy your 38th year. Hugs from Desire