HEART - LOST AND FOUND?

First of all, thank you to Dr John Demartini for introducing me to these powerful words, and secondly to my friend, Vanessa Matthews - OODLES OF TALENT (um V, seriously gf - howz about an update on the BLOG!!!???), for doing them justice in the ART FORM, and making them SO PURTY, i could just stare at them all day :-)...... The first time I ever heard these words spoken, it put so much of what I believe, into a single phrase, which has now become one of my little mantras. In addition to that, I have shared and passed it on to anyone and everyone I know, who I've thought would benefit from it too.

SOO....I just had to put them out there this morning. Partly for me, but also for so many of the women I've spoken to over the last few months, who've admitted to having lost themselves:-). I'm smiling simply because, to a child who heard that, they would LOGICALLY try and work that one out and come up with this .....????????????LOL!!!... Aaaahhh..the complexities of being female, and MOTHERS!!!...heck....just being FEMALE ACTUALLY LOL! But seriously, how many times do you need to have the same conversation with different people every time, to know that so many of us are in the same boat, and frankly, I think this boat (read issue) is getting seriously overcrowded!! So maybe it's time to (pardon the cliche) 'sink or swim'. Well that was my theory anyways :-)

This morning I had SO many random thoughts flooding through my head, but it's the feeling behind it that I always pay the most attention to, and the feeling I had this morning was just....WOW...some year huh. 2008 was a good year on the HOMEfront, but 2009 has been all about the HEART, and OMGOSH, so weird that it just so happens that the heart shape is being celebrated in all forms this year - they literally are EVERYWHERE - brooches, charms, cushions, wooden hearts, rusted hearts, wire hearts...you name it - we even have the I HEART MARKET now in Durban once a month (which is DEFINITELY worth a visit).....blush...I'm digressing....it's just that I looooovvvve purty things so much, I'm a bit like a child chasing butterflies when it comes to things like that....

I guess what is foremost on my mind is just the shift that's taken place for me this year. I feel just that much closer to mastering, maybe not my life, but mastering me, which is where it starts really. I've forced myself to pay attention this year, to what I want and need. Standing in our truth, and being honest with ourselves can be daunting, but also so rewarding!!! And it's amazing how when you take that leap of faith that leads to action (KEY TO MOVING FORWARD!!), life responds, and coincidences happen, and things start to fall into place. I'm so grateful for the situations and people who have enriched my life this year, but truth be told, I was willing to let them in, because I was ready to. I really feel like I've reconnected with myself and my little world again. SO instead of my head spinning, it's my world that is slowly turning - AGAIN. But I had to put myself out there, and have a goal and a plan, and I surrounded myself with people who would make sure I would be accountable to seeing things through, ahem (blush)...which i knew might just be a problem - judging from some of the *unfinished* CRAFT projects around the house.

In order to cope with life and it's responsibilities, and keep everyone around us happy, so many of us choose (yes that would be me) to close the door on ourselves, the things we love, our dreams, our passions, our heartfelt thoughts, OUR TRUTH. How then will we hear that voice and vision on the inside clearly enough, to be and know who we really are????

So if anyone has LOST THEMSELVES...giggle...reporting to security to ask them to phone your Mommy is NOT GONNA HELP this time. You need to try and find yourself, YOURSELF! Here's a few tips whch helped me:-)

- firstly, spend some time taking note of all the things that "fill your tank" and give you that warm and fuzzy feeling.....and seriously if that doesn't work...EISH... :-o....you're a lost (excuse the pun) cause - KIDDING

- spend some time exploring ways of how to fit those feel good things into your day .... EVERYDAY, for at least 2 weeks or more (hopefully for EVA:-))

**Now remember, a habit takes 21 days to form, so try and make a habit of it**

- doing these things that make you happy, have to be done (and this was the hard part for me) for no rhyme or reason at all (I repeat - FNRORAA), just for FUN - and if you don't know what FUN means, phone a friend or ask OXFORD - but seriously - EISH - it's a 3 lettter word, how hard can it be???

- if you're worried about neglecting your responsibilities (oh hello???), then compile a list of things that you would like to do and have to do, and rate them - I did mine as follows:

LOVE IT - a pink thing

LIKE IT - a blue thing

LOATHE IT - a brown thing (brown is SO NOT my colour)

I have to have to do the PINK STUFF...that's what feeds me, BUT the brown stuff is also necessary, so I sometimes trade them off, a brown thing off the list, get's me a free pass to do a pink thing - blue things are for days when you're feeling "WHAT EVA", but you get the idea.

Try it!...and remember....it's important to do the things we HEART, to hear the voices inside (your HEART - not your HEAD)!

It's a GORGEOUS day here today, so I'm off to do a pink thing - revel in the sunshine, sieze the day and spread some HEART (love) :-)

Shania Twain and vanilla candles......

Seriously?...seriously. Fairy lights, Shania Twain (i love her wholesome-ness?...is that a word??), AND, my yummy vanilla candles, have got me through what's been quite a week! And it's thanks to those 3 things that I feel the essence of me survived. During weeks like this, where I miss my time to reflect and smell the roses, it's literally the strike of a match, pressing the "play" button on our H.E system, and the twinkle, twinkle of my fairy lights, that keeps me sane, remind me that happiness and the feel good stuff are just that far away, keep those pink, rose tinted glasses on until the fog lifts!! LOL! So our little sweetie pie (girl-child) has had a loooot on her little (10yr old) plate this last month, particularly this week, and as things go at times like this, it's meant that her and I have spent a looooot of time together. We've had our moments where we've felt cheated out of all the fun the boys in the family are having, but the upside, and there always is an upside :-), is that we've had "girl time"! I've had the time to focus on her, and her only, and through the hard work and stress, allowed myself to enjoy all the wonderful things about her, that one so often misses during the "routine of everyday", particularly when you have a vocal little mowgli boy-child around!

The photos in this post were taken on holiday a few years ago, whilst Sabrina was climing a tree, and although (sadly) the quality is grainy (new camera!), I LOVED the different expressions I managed to capture - to me they are priceless, just as she is. As moms we get so caught up in the sorting, and doing, and lifting (shew this is going to be a long list)...etc etc etc etc that we can so easily miss the WOW in our kids, or take it for granted. So maybe, just maybe, in some weird and whacky way, this week and this time has been just what I've needed. They say God always knows your heart, and he sure does.

A NEW MOON and season

Spring this year has been very kind to us. We have these glorious days of sunshine, our sneak preview of what we think will be a lovely long summer, and then we have days where the air is fresh, and somehow so still - maybe because the lawnmowers aren't going 'ten to a dozen' - LOL!...it's on days like this, like today, that you can clearly differentiate between the calls of birds and insects around you, and the garden, covered in drops of fine rain, seems brand new and brilliant.

As much as I loved the warm, dry, sunny days of winter, I am so enjoying the freshness, the newness and the growth that we call spring. No wonder it's called spring - you can't help but get caught up in it all. It makes me for one want to change things, fix things, start new things, and SPRING-CLEAN.

Below are some of my favourite pics taken this season, so far - maybe not the best technique, but i love them anyway:

Dom in the lounge at Hebron Haven - Midlands.

A stroll down a country road in the evening - i loved watching the kids run ahead - wondering what they were so excited about....just running, and being kids i guess.....

Our Bri...always happy in trees. This beautiful old soul provided hours of entertainment for all the children at the lodge....

Sabrina at "Solitude" in the Dargle Valley.

A touch of colour.

Sabrina, Melanie and Dominic at Hebron Haven - Midlands.

Dominic and Rachel playing cards at the Springside Nature Reserve.

Warren, Sandy, Nick and kids strolling amongst the cows near the river at Hebron Haven.

FUN DO!

Love and laughter...don't those two things make the world go around??? ...okay..and then there's money. But if you don't have the first 2, the last one don't matter anyways.

My mother was very blessed to come from a family of 10. I'm sure there have been times in her life when she's hasn't maybe felt that way - LOL!! - but for the most part, we revel in this large group of people we can call our own...warts and all! We are now, in the great grandchildren phase, and we could probably start a small country of our own, so just as keeping in touch and up to speed with a small circle of friends can be a challenge at the best of times, when you throw in THIS LOT, life can get VERY interesting. But love, and LAUGHTER have undoubtedly been the glue that binds us togther...always.

We share side splitting moments WHENEVER we're together, and I have no doubt that, it's those moments that keep most of us reaching out to each other whenever we possibly can. My Gran who is now in her 80's, is undoubtedly one of the most amazing people I will ever know in my lifetime, and she also happens to be one of my BEST friends. We LAUGH everytime we speak, and I love love love that about our relationship, but more so, I admire her for instilling that laughter and sense of fun in all of us. It has helped us all get through the not so fun times of life.

I have done some pretty outrageous/stupid stuff in my life - and sadly, due to the fact that I am not a drinker, those moments are all firmly etched in my mind, and crystal clear as it were. Nothing blurred, or softened, or smudged, or blotted out completely - all there. Heck, I've had some of the best fun ever whist stuck in traffic jams - too many times too count! That said, I don't think you've lived if you haven't made your name - as us South African's would say - "gat" at least ONCE!

The pics in this post are from our yearly FUN DO (read Fondue) get together. This tradition started 3 years ago on a trip to Clarins. Our two families decided to take advantage of the "Fondue" experience the restaurant advertised, which none of the children had experienced before. Well, the service was shocking, and the fondues not very well organised, and as BOREDOM often leads to other things - especially with kids, that's exactly what happened. We got stupid, put serviettes on our heads, made milk moustaches, and bent the cutlery (only a few!). Since then, this event has become a tradition. Every year, we get together, and reenact that night. Our kids love it, we all screech with laughter, and every year gets more interesting!

I loved loved loved my PLAITS this year! After being asked a number of times throughout the evening to please take them out, as no one could take me seriously (WELL EXACTLY!!!).....I gave in.....We all get stuck in....we prep, we cook, we eat, we have fun - the kids think their parents are holligans, PERFECT.

PRICELESS!

Tell me that smothering your face in the MOST delicious melted chocolate you've EVA tasted, isn't item no 1001 from the "1000 Things to do in your lifetime" list, and I'll tell you you are MISS-ING OUT!!!! If you're not familiar with this practice, I urge you to find the nearest place that offers the "DIPPINGZ EXPERIENCE" tm (that means it's TRADEMARKED - nogal) and brace yourself for some of the best fun you'll have anywhere, anytime.

And another thing - mothers do not be afraid - whilst I cannot deny that the ever so strong, sickly sweet smell of chocolate will follow you EVERYWHERE afterwards, and that no amount of wet wipes will do the trick, you can take comfort in the knowledge, and I'm sure you'll all agree, that one of the most priceless things in this world, is when a bright eyed dirty little chocolate smothered face looks up at you, and says "Mom, this is one of the BEST days of my life!!". As my friend Sandy said when she heard that remark - "just for that, I'd have paid DOUBLE!!" This was DEFINITELY one of the highlights of our Midlands weekend away.

Chocolate Heaven in Rosetta spoiled us to ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that one can or can't imagine dipping in chocolate, and it was heavenly indeed. Me, who is SO not a chocolate person couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement of it all - and trust me, when the only rule is - THERE ARE NO RULES!" - what more can one expect!

YOUR HIGHNESS - (not for sensitive viewers)

On a recent visit to Pixie's little piece of heaven, one thing led to another, and whilst catching up on her news, I got caught up in something else too....it was blog candy and eye candy and girl candy and pink candy - so much candy I just didn't know where to look, or what to choose! I was like a kid in a candy store, or cupcake heaven, and as you can see from my "touch ups" here and there, to a blogger, it was...how can I put this......sigh....it was the QUEEN FOR A DAY version of a visit to a beauty spa! LOL! So i hope you all like what I've "done with the place..."

And it just so happened that the best part of my little *excursion* was realising that the background I chose and fell in love with, is called ....*your highness*....it was at that moment that I died and went to girlfriend heaven.......!

For me, your highness just sums up in a word, what I think all women should strive to feel about themselves. I have been surrounded by remarkable women all my life, and maybe that's why I have so much respect for our gender. I really wish more of us allowed ourselves to think the best about ourselves, and believe that we deserve nothing less than that. We don't make time for ourselves, we don't choose things that serve us, we beat ourselves up everyday as opposed to building ourselves up and focusing on our strengths, and we wait for permission from others to feel entitled to be happy or live our best lives.

We are guilt ridden about everything, from our weight, to our looks, to our kids, and our husbands, and what we have done, and should be doing....oh and one of my pet hates - we are reluctant to celebrate our birthdays!!! I am horrified at how many women dread their birthdays or see it as "just another day". Uh-uh girls - get with the program! Birthday bliss is what it's all about!

A few years ago I decided that my birthday would be celebrated for the ENTIRE week! My wonderful DH reluctantly humoured me, but i could tell he was secretly thinking, "will the madness EVER end?". But the twist in the tale is this... - guess who announced this year that they have decided to spend an entire week celebrating their birthday??...yep none other than HIS HIGHNESS himself! So we now have a rule in our family that birthday's are BIG, and that a full week is required - bare minumum - to fully enjoy and celebrate the person's life, which is actually the GIFT.

My theory is that girlfriends and women the world over are simply incredible - if we let ourselves be...and that's why the men in our lives (as in husbands, brothers, fathers and sons) love us so much, and why God entrusted us with motherhood and MULTITASKING! We need to give ourselves a break, and try and find the HIGHNESS in ourselves, that we've all been blessed with. So cut yourself some slack.....even if you're just "Queen for a day".....

Okay this is the part that is not for sensitive viewers, and you know who you are!....sniff...

Below are some pics from one of the best birthdays I have ever had...a day filled with pink roses, pink fluff, butterflies and bubbles, candles and pretty tea cups, and friends that represented many of the "HIGHNESSES" in my life.

THE JOY OF A BIRTHDAY BOY

Friday 11th September - another year older for our boy child Dom. I so clearly recall, 9 years ago, wondering what this little newborn would turn out to be like? I tried to imagine our conversations in my mind, but they were nothing like the reality of living with this child of ours LOL! Not for a minute did I think that at 8 we would be hiring documentaries on History, instead of your standard kiddies movies!!My China, you are an old soul my boy. You see this world of ours, not through the eyes of a child, but through the eye's of a wise old owl.

Your sense of humour and wit is beyond belief. If only you knew how blessed you are to have the gift of creating laughter in people's lives - especially MINE! Above all, i love your kindness and your values, and your understanding of why you have them, and what they mean in the world. But most of all Dom, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that your best thing in the world, is to throw your arms around me anytime, anywhere and say...."Mom, I love you more than the most"....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BIG MAN!

Life and lemonade

I love these guys - I was smitten - love at first sight when I saw them at "Old Navy" clothing store for kids on Thesen Island, in Knysna. Clowns may be creepy for some, but for me, they represent fun, mischief, and the wonderful quality of not taking life and oneself so seriously!

OOOOOkayyy - so our family went on an 11 day campervan trip, had the time of our lives, and according to my blog, history will show when we one day look back and read this, that we evidently and somewhat mysteriously, disappeared on day 5!! LOL! We all know this is not entirely impossible when you live in South Africa (giggle), so to my friends who have been "NOT SO SUBTLE" with their hints about a blog update, I am alive!! If the truth be told, my absence has been in part due to the fact that task completion is not one of my strong points (blush), but rather focusing on what's important and priorities, is (shew)!

So I know I've skipped the rest of the holiday, but life goes on, and it's so hard not to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all. This past week has been FRENETIC to say the least from a work perspective, but I am forever grateful for the fact that I can always steal a few moments to stop and smell the roses...even if just for a short while. September's around the corner, and since the last quarter of the year always seems like a blur to me, I found myself reflecting on where we're at, well into the 2nd half of the year - a year which I went into with much trepidation. Despite all the trials an tribulations 2009 has presented us all with, for me it is still turning into a wonderful year, which has had it's moments, particularly over the last few weeks, but those knocks are the things that help us grow, and build resistance and character. To balance that out though, our family was blessed with a MIRACLE, and for that I am so eternally grateful.

Being a country girl at heart (even though I do so love to dress up in BLING!), smelling the roses is as simple as appreciating and enjoying the fact that at the moment our home and garden are filled with the smell of jasmine, along with homemade lemonade (to die for!!), as it simmers on the stove - for some it may be a box of chocolates. We've all just come back from the vegetable garden, munching on sugar snap peas, and as Jane says, there's something truly wonderful about growing something from scratch, and then picking it and popping it straight into your mouth - fresh. We're blessed to have the comforts and convenience of city life (like PAV down the road! and 4 wheel drive instead of horse and cart!! EISH), whilst along side of that, able to savour and embrace some of the good old fashioned things that I value, and that we seldom find anywhere else, other than in the country. And as I'm thinking this, I hear Dom's friend from across the road, call his name. From our kitchen window I can see him anxiously waiting in anticipation in his driveway for Dom to join him....just like we used to in the good old days. Right here, right now, I feel so lucky to have the best of both worlds...

Life's a beach....filled with treasures

Ollie the Octopus - feeling a little like a fish out of water...
"Chillaxing" with our feet up..
Finding Ollie - the Octopus
Right on the rocks in our backyard were these little stars

Photo's of Grahamstown and J-Bay

Step aside Michaelangelo, this is what God put on a canvas today!...uhuh yeah!...
Our back garden in Jeffries....
Waxing the boards to ride them DUNES!..um...let the record show that MOI (that's ME people) did not fall once! (thanks to BRILLIANT BRILLIANT instructors - bless you both!)
Flea Market area in Grahamstown