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Married to Nick for 13 years, with 2 children; Sabrina - 12 and Dominic - 11. I am a girlfriend through and through in that I love girly things and anything that celebrates the essence of being a woman. I love vintage, shabby chic, the country and try my best to do my bit for the environment. SO yes...we have 3 bins in our house and try our best to recycle! I believe that with everything in life, the closer we stick to nature, the better off we'll be. I would love to have a balance in life, but have learnt that balance is not always possible, so strive for significance instead, in the hopes that that will be just as meaningful, and the rest will hopefully follow.

Monday, June 7, 2010

HEART BROKEN

Rest in peace, Dorothy Glays Humphries......xxx
To be heartbroken is such a difficult thing .......you don't quite know if you want to sit, or stand, or eat or starve, or sleep, or be awake.....you just don't know. HEART BROKEN however...feels and is, more permanent. It's not just how you feel, it's what and who you are.......you know that it's forever, in the sense that that piece of your heart is BROKEN - gone....for good. You can't undo it, you can't replace it with some other piece, you can't ride the wave until it doesn't hurt anymore, it's just BROKEN...always. Your heart will always look different to the way it did before, and over time, you learn to live with that piece of you that's missing - that's what time does....

I've been heartbroken many times over the last 3 months, watching my precious Gran slip away. She passed away yesterday afternoon, and that's when you really feel like someone's ripped the plasters keeping your heart together, right off, in one foul swoop. I know she's gone to a better place, and I know she's at peace, but what I know more than anything right now, is that we will never again sleep under the same starlit sky, laugh together, or share the seasons....of time, or of ours lives, again......that's the piece she took with her:-(

To my darling special, precious person, Gran.....who ALWAYS made me smile, who laughed at my jokes, and ALWAYS believed in me, right until the very last time we spoke, my world was always a better place, with you in it..... . I am so so proud of who you were, and how to the very end, you were THOUGHTFUL, KIND, FUNNY, LOVING AND DIGNIFIED. I hope and prey that at the end of my life, I will look back and be HALF the woman you were. Knowing and loving you was a gift and a priviledge.

You go be with your Joe ....

LU

xxx
Bee

I remember this day so clearly, like it was yesterday....

7 comments:

  1. i am crying with you my precious friend - what a loss -nothing could ever replace her in your life and that is why i like how you said...its a piece of your heart broken off forever - you will learn to live with the void cause sadly life does go on - remember her, talk about her,enjoy her photos,HER FINGER PRINTS ARE ALL OVER YOUR LIFE, after all she helped mould you into the woman you are today, NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE THE EFFECTS OF GRIEF(get a book on it for hints and tips) Sad Sad time my precious friend, this world has lost a pearl in the flesh but her rare beauty lives on thru you. Big hugs and kisses and plenty tears WITH you my friend. Linda

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  2. my Bee there are no words gf, just know that I am with you in spirit every single step of the way. Your Gran has left a wonderful gift behind in you gf, go on to be the woman she has always loved and treasured, time will teach you how to go forward without her but always in her honour.
    Always and forever
    xxx
    A

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  3. Oh Bee ... I feel so sad for you ... please know that I am thinking of you ...

    Love, Tracy G

    oxoxoxox

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  4. Hi B

    an AMAZING post for an AMAZING woman.... and you are as much the lady in every way that your Gran was. Love you loads, Ronds

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  5. Such BEAUTIFUL words Bee.... can only imagine how wonderful she was and can feel in your words how special she is to you. The world has lost a gem, but she lives on... in your heart.
    I have loads of plasters if you runout - OK... take your time mending, you NEED it.

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  6. Oh Bee, I too have a gran whose impact on my life has been immeasureable. I cannot even begin to contemplate what my life will be like without her because the pain at losing my grandfather nearly destroyed me. You are so right when you say that you just learn to live with the pain, it never goes away. Keep her in your heart and her love with always live on and guide you. Allow yourself to feel and to hurt, you have such a big heart and it needs time. Take care xx

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  7. My sincere condolences to you. I remember it like yesterday when I lost my gran, but know that she is in a happy place and not suffering any more. Time eventually does heal, but that piece taken away, just never comes back.

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