on the VERGE...

These pictures make me smile for a number of reasons…..the beautiful wide verges we have here at home…..they are verges to die for.  I know, it’s just a verge right?...but heck, you could walk 5 people wide in most places, side by side, into the quiet of the evening, and have room for a dog on either side of you:-D.  That’s how Mama like’s itJ.   We’ve spent more time on these verges since our two little girls came along, than we ever have before.  It’s been such a lovely reminder of how pretty our hood is – from all sides, and how friendly the neighbours are – dogs excluded:-D.  I’ve loved watching my kids run like the wind, down wintery sidewalks, with just the sun set to keep me company…

It feels like I’ve been spending a lot of time on other verges though too lately…..just looking left, looking right, just watchin’ the neighbours as it were, never crossing the road though – I guess I like my side is allJ.  It’s been a hectic time, but it’s funny how sometimes it can be Hurricane Hilda on the outside and as calm as..well ….when your hair’s not blowing in the wind, on the inside.  That’s when you notice things the most.  I’ve been on the verge noticing, how the world is going crazy, and how home seems like the safest place to be; noticing how so many families are hurting or lost – where are you Moms and Dads?? noticing how people have lost their way, and yet the answers are as obvious as the wide open road on a clear day; noticing how our girl child copes so much better when she knows I’m around – maybe because she knows I’ll always have her back; noticing that our boy child shares his heart so freely with me, and yet, it’s his Dad he needs more right now. 

Hubby and I attended a funeral on Friday – strangely, we both had ties to this person, in completely different ways.  We were not closely involved in his day to day life, but somehow we were close enough to be drawn there to celebrate his wonderful life, and his untimely death in a tragic aircraft accident.  My man and I cried.  From the first song, to the last song.  And all the bits in between.  Mine was the uninhibited cry….it bordered on the ugly cry – you know the one.  We cried because we knew his loss could so easily be ours, and from where I’ve been sitting on the verge, I saw so many families who, unlike this one, would never survive this tradgedy, because you can’t get more broken than broken already is.  Things so often cross our paths to remind us of all that is important in life, and yet people still choose to look the other way.  I often remind my boy that, at any moment, on any given day, you are on the verge of greatness, in whatever shape, form or size may have meaning for you, but if you’re lost in the woods – greatness ain’t never gonna find you son!

Our beautiful, warm, yellow and happy sunny days are back.  I know this because…well apart from the sun of course :-D, I’ve fallen asleep to the sound of tree frogs for the last few nights.  It feels carefree and heavenly to be on the verge of spring and summer again…. 

Doing what counts...

I'm writing this post from my precious Grandmother's bedside in Cape Town. The view from her bed is a picture: majestic mountains, beautiful roses, trees showered in autumn colours, and a delightful little house with a tin roof. I love that that's what she sees when she's awake. I'm saddened by the fact that she will never again truly experience being in it, or the smell of it, or feel grass under her feet. But nonetheless, the magic of nature is that even just seeing it, can revive the soul. This morning, inbetween the short conversation her fragility allows, we sat in silence at times, holding hands, taking it all in, me forever trying to etch these moments and memories of our time together, deep into my mind heart and mind.

As a wife and mother, even though I am fully aware of the responsibilities I leave behind by taking these trips, they all seem to pale in significance, compared with that of me spending every last moment I possibly can, here with this person i love so dearly. It's never easy to leave the role of wife and mother behind, but there are times in life, where you need to be able to be the grandaughter, or sister, or daughter 100% so you can make it count. The way I see it is, if my children can't cope without me for a few days, then I truly have failed them as a mother. I love that this time away encourages them to draw on their independence, and most importantly, appreciate that life doesn't always revolve around ourselves only. I could never even begin to put into words, the impact and influence my Gran has had on me and my life, so these last few weeks of her life have had me constantly questioning, what else could be more important than being by her side. Up until 6 weeks ago, she has ALWAYS been the person I could turn to for perspective, guidance, a should to cry on, or to share a few laughs with,......because she knows my heart, always has, always will.........

I'm finding it extremely hard to accept that I cannot change this situation, fix it, delay it or reinvent it. Instead, my options are to be in it and endure it. When big things are happening in my life, I tend to "zone in on the crisis", which makes it difficult to focus on the rest. But I've made a conscious decision to be okay with that.

This time with Gran, is for me a gift from my DH, who in my absence not only has to deal with the stress of running a business, but take control of everything else that would generally be handled by me {which is a lot!! - even if i say so myself :-) }... . I love and appreciate that he has been selfless and allowed me this time, to do what really counts....be the grandaughter to someone really special, for as long possible.

FUN DO!

Love and laughter...don't those two things make the world go around??? ...okay..and then there's money. But if you don't have the first 2, the last one don't matter anyways.

My mother was very blessed to come from a family of 10. I'm sure there have been times in her life when she's hasn't maybe felt that way - LOL!! - but for the most part, we revel in this large group of people we can call our own...warts and all! We are now, in the great grandchildren phase, and we could probably start a small country of our own, so just as keeping in touch and up to speed with a small circle of friends can be a challenge at the best of times, when you throw in THIS LOT, life can get VERY interesting. But love, and LAUGHTER have undoubtedly been the glue that binds us togther...always.

We share side splitting moments WHENEVER we're together, and I have no doubt that, it's those moments that keep most of us reaching out to each other whenever we possibly can. My Gran who is now in her 80's, is undoubtedly one of the most amazing people I will ever know in my lifetime, and she also happens to be one of my BEST friends. We LAUGH everytime we speak, and I love love love that about our relationship, but more so, I admire her for instilling that laughter and sense of fun in all of us. It has helped us all get through the not so fun times of life.

I have done some pretty outrageous/stupid stuff in my life - and sadly, due to the fact that I am not a drinker, those moments are all firmly etched in my mind, and crystal clear as it were. Nothing blurred, or softened, or smudged, or blotted out completely - all there. Heck, I've had some of the best fun ever whist stuck in traffic jams - too many times too count! That said, I don't think you've lived if you haven't made your name - as us South African's would say - "gat" at least ONCE!

The pics in this post are from our yearly FUN DO (read Fondue) get together. This tradition started 3 years ago on a trip to Clarins. Our two families decided to take advantage of the "Fondue" experience the restaurant advertised, which none of the children had experienced before. Well, the service was shocking, and the fondues not very well organised, and as BOREDOM often leads to other things - especially with kids, that's exactly what happened. We got stupid, put serviettes on our heads, made milk moustaches, and bent the cutlery (only a few!). Since then, this event has become a tradition. Every year, we get together, and reenact that night. Our kids love it, we all screech with laughter, and every year gets more interesting!

I loved loved loved my PLAITS this year! After being asked a number of times throughout the evening to please take them out, as no one could take me seriously (WELL EXACTLY!!!).....I gave in.....We all get stuck in....we prep, we cook, we eat, we have fun - the kids think their parents are holligans, PERFECT.